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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?